This just in: Orlando sucks. That is unless you are between the ages of 6 and 13 and, or consider paying $34.95 for a felt yarmulke with plastic ears glued onto it is “reasonable”. I had to put in some time in there for business this past weekend and found it to be quite disagreeable. Sure they have plenty of beaches and the early bird special for dinner at the local seafood buffet starts at around 11: 15 to accommodate the hordes of retirees, but other than that there is simply nothing remarkable about that swamp infested part of the planet other than the size of the friggen mosquitos. Speaking of Orlando, I realize now why the locals call it the Big “O”, or O-town. Our neighbors in the suite connected to ours with what I considered to be a wall and actually turned out to be as effective at stopping sounds emanating from their room as if I had strung tissue paper up, made a point of visiting the big “O” each night for several minutes. Or at least several more minutes then any road trip I have ever invested in to that location. I had planned on renting a bike and doing some riding between meetings but found myself so worn down from trying not to be outdone by what my wife of many years determined was the inspiration for the song “Sex machine” by James brown, that I simply couldn’t bring myself to turn the pedals. A dark day, a dark day indeed my fellow cyclists. But Florida is behind me now and I can turn my attention to the SK Alley cat race this weekend and some good weather for godsake. The ride in this morning was like training in Belgium, (or so I understand, I have never actually trained in Belgium although I have drank my share of Belgium beer and I understand that feels a lot like training in Belgium). I was dealt another harsh blow today when one of the Streetkings first string team for the Alley cat reported he would be unable to attend said race. (St. Paul) I assured him that the rumors there would be UCI testing onsite were completely and absolutely false, however he in turn assured me he will be (and this is the cruel part) seeking a new domicile…IN ANOTHER STATE. ST Paul is not only a founding member, but was one of the inspirations for the Street Kings to begin with. I intend to personally suggest at the next meeting that any name referencing Minnesota be retired in his honor. Das Boot suggested that at each bar we order one extra beer and place it on the bar for St Paul as a reminder of a man missing in action. This motion has since been revealed to simply be a ploy for Das Boot to suck down an extra beer each round and was summarily defeated in a democratic manner. My next communiqué will be post race and be filled with results and pictures I can assure you of that. Things are looking up. They cant get any worse.
Tom Boonen's "O" face.