Fixed gear lingo Street King style

I thought I might make an attempt at disseminating some of the colorful and useful street lingo bouncing around in the fixed gear culture today. Here is how it works, I offer you a situation and give you a couple of possible answers. Make your choice wisely; on streets a wrong answer might wind up tanking your street cred quicker than you can say coaster brake conversion. Wrong answers here just get what i like to call: Italys worst pedal cabbie. Answer the question right however, and you will be rewarded with THIS.

Lets get started. Short and sweet.

P.S. Mouse overs are for cherries.
Question #1
While waiting for the local ride to start, one of the riders arrives on a new bike that some of the others are now gathering around and admiring. Shiny parts, clean grips, matching saddle etc…
Your cool response should be:
1.Looks fast, but can she do the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs?

2.That bike is dope but Ourys are as played out as putting a “baby on board “sign in your minivan.

3.You know a putting a chain guard on would mean you could avoid wearing those tight pants.

4.Nice whip.

Question #2
You are lingering at the local bike shop for some needed repairs when the technician asks you; “Looks like your chain line is a full finger off, are you running track spacing on these components?” Your response should be:

1. Track, schmack.

2. Whatchoo talkin’ bout Willis?

3. Let me ask you something; why are your fingers in my chainline to begin with?

4. I thought matching the grips to the anodized chainring was more important.

Question#3
Waiting for the start of your first local alleycat race, one of your fellow competitors tells you: “You planning on a hole shot?”
Your response should be:
1.I don’t drink and bike.

2. Who’s hole are we talking about here?

3. Of course, maybe two or three, how many did you order?

4. Who’s got time to plan? I’ve been barspinning in the parking lot like a friggen blender waiting for this biotch to light off.

Question#4
You happen across a good looking fellow fixed gear female rider. In an attempt to engage you should make what opening statement:
1. How about next time you leave that sad little Bianchi conversion at home and we will turn this machine of mine into a single saddle tandem?

2. I was wondering how many inches you feel comfortable with?...Gear inches that is.

3. I couldn’t help but notice your rear seems stiff. (pause) What kind of air pressure are you running?

4. Nice whip. Wanna get coffee?



How did you score?

0-1 You should stick to inline skating and the Sims roleplaying game you are much more popular online.

2. I wouldnt sell the 10 speed just yet.

3. As close as a well done conversion with near horizontal drop outs.

4 Please contact this office for consideration into the Street King organization, we are currently seeking individuals with your capabilities and motivation. Salaray DOE, BYOB (bring your own bike)