Flat tires suck.

In the world of cycling there is nothing more disheartening, other than a crash, than a flat tire. Enjoying a bike ride only to realize your tire has gone soft, is alot like having a softy while trying to enjoy riding your wife (or girlfriend). Or so i understand, i have never had that problem and anyone that says otherwise is a loudmouth liar. There are basically two schools of thought on tire flats and how to deal with them. The first is an ill advised attempt at making the bike impervious to flats. The thought proces being; simply eliminate the ability for the bike to lose air in the tires by making them impervious to punctures. Sounds simple doesn't it? Well the devil is in the details my friend. While you can make your tires/tubes LESS susceptible to punctures, you can never make them puncture-proof. And the trade off for making your bicycle puncture resistant is the same as with every good idea that ultimately gets shot down by the masses of bicycle riders; the solution will invariably be too heavy or GASP not stylish enough. Yes you can run Kevlar walled tires, yes you can run slimed tubes, yes you can double up a 26c tire with a 23c inside with the bead cut off, but you can still flat. I have searched the interwebs database of bicycles that are actually "Flat proof" and was able to come up with only one example. See below.

Don't let the brakes fool you, this bastard is running this rig fixed with horizontal drops, solid aero wheel up front, the brakes are just to keep the cops off his back.

"Fo sho babee"

If you are unable to get a hold of the equipment necessary to convert your bike to a true flat proof setup, i recommend taking the second of the two options; preparing for the eventuality of a flat and being emotionally and physically prepared for that situation. In other words, carry a blowout bag and be informed of its use and capable of using it should the situation arrive. You can usually spot the uninformed riders, as they will have the bike placed in what is commonly referred to as the "BMX" position for repair. Placing your bike on its saddle and handlebars to the wheels stick straight up, is NOT an acceptable position for flat repair. These are usually the same riders that somehow manage to remove every bolted on components on the bike just to change a rear flat. I cant tell you how many times i have been on a group ride and someone has exclaimed with no small amount of glee in their voice; "Look a yard-sale and the guy has a bunch of bike parts!" only to find upon closer inspection, its just a confused rider assuming the BMX position and wielding a multi tool like a machete wielding Malaysian drug lord clearing rain forest. If in your travels you happen across one of these creatures, (and you will) i suggest taking the high road and throwing out the standard "Got everything you need?" question as you ride by. The statement leaves you an out and doesn't wholly imply you are willing to help with the reasembly of their bike, you are just making sure they have enough rope to hang themselves with. Keep the black side down, unless your bike is black, and then keep the shiny black side up, whether riding or repairing.

SK.