Friday, August 29, 2008
what a ride last night! A full compliment of Street Kings took to the streets and bars of Tempe to welcome a new member. The ride started out a bit rough, two mechanicals before we could get out of site of the start point. The SK disc is officially dead. I took an evening to strip and repair the hub, redrilling the slip pins with bigger pins and reposition the disc, all to no avail. The thing wobbled like a drunk sorority girl. Members in attendance last night:
SK (bet on it)
St Paul (working on his beer tolerance for the upcoming Chimichanga race)
James T. (Had to race the rain home after the ride)
Jackson (lost a pedal early but recovered nicely)
Agent Orange (Always on, always ready to go)
Bucket (The Brett Favre of Street Kings is out of retirement)
Clifford (Requesting a reassessment of his gang status/title, was not voted on last night)
Others in attendence are not named on this site for legal and moral reasons.
We did discuss the possibility of a state championship alleycat later this year. I would put together another online map to save people from getting lost. If you are ever in an alleycat in Hanover, this is the girl that you would want to suck a wheel from.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I recently came across a pair of editorials in Velonews where each side debated the merits and drawbacks of the recent popularity of fixed gear bikes. Much like the rigs Street Kings ride. The two points of view are taken up by two of the staff of said publication and voiced two separate thoughts on the matter. The first point of view was voiced by a gentlemen named Maynard Hershon. Maynards take on fixed gear is spelled out in the title of his article clearly and without pulling any punches. “Fixed-gear bandwagon is hurting cycling.” In 25 point Helvetica screams across his half of the page along with a picture of Maynard that I would say puts his appearance conservatively at around 74. I only mention this as a point of reference, hear me out. His article is well written and he doesn’t mince words when expressing his concerns for cycling as a whole. His debate seems to center around the welfare of the band-waggoners and their inherent lack of cycling skills. He adds the ubiquitous; “when I was a boy” speech that includes logic such as: “there was less traffic, and, “…the handful of racers using fixed gear bikes were ultra-skilled” He doesn’t qualify the “ultra-skilled” comment but I came to the understanding that he is surreptitiously referring to himself. He goes on to lump every fixed gear rider as incapable morons and “first time riders” that not only eschew functionality for style, but refuse to put lights on their bike. The final insult he takes a psychology 101 approach and tries to somehow make the bike dealer feel guilty about selling a bicycle to person that would; GASP “lock the bike to two or three similar bikes in front of a neighborhood tavern after midnight.” He challenges the bike dealer to “feel good about selling (sic) the bike” after he realizes she is in there drinking with her friends on a bike he sold her.
(Cue the 1950’s dramatic instructional video music and the unseen deep voiced announcer.)
“It’s supposed to give you a good feeling, seeing it. Does it? Stick your head in there. I’ll bet she and her friends will buy you a drink. You’re their dealer after all.” ???
I cant even reach a cynical enough position to try and defend that last quote. I was expecting his sign off to be something like; “I’ll bet they smoke marijuana cigarettes too, that’s right… reefers. And if you asked her parents, I’ll bet they think she’s actually studying at the library right now and don’t even ask them about that rock and roll music she has come to enjoy.”
At his age I am assuming he sat through enough cold war, public service videos in school that the fear propaganda machine is the only form of motivation he understands and sadly still is clinging to. To bad he wasn’t reading or writing about cycling as a kid, he would have heard people in his same profession (sports writers) his age at the time, debating how adding derailleur’s to fixed gear bikes ruined great races like the Tour de France. I wish you well Mr. Maynard Hershon, your struggles will continue as a man with a name from five decades removed and a dated point of view to match. You just made the short list of cyclists not welcome in Street King territory
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
I fouind this pair of Rock Republic jeans on a legitimate website: HERE Yes i realize the possibility (however slim it might be) that these jeans are not actually made by Rock Republic, and that purchasing them does nothing to support Rock Republic or its racing team. But dont be so quick to judge. Everyone, even websites named: Fake Replica Rock Republic Goods, is innocent until proven guilty. Until someone has irrefutable proof, witnesses and can show beyond a shadow of a doubt that these indeed are not Rock Republic jeans, i suggest taking advantage of this deal. Even if they did have irrefuable proof, witnesses, and could show beyond a shadow of a doubt that these were not legitimate goods, they still get their day in court. Just like Michael Ball is doing for Leogrande's defense in a lawsuit brought against USADA that had initally named the rider only as John Doe.
Leogrande is a member of the Rock Racing team, which is owned by Michael Ball, the CEO of jeans-maker Rock & Republic. His bio on the team website said using the "same signature aggressive approach, he now plans to change the face of the racing world."
The suit alleges USADA notified the, then unamed plaintiff last Nov. 15 that the 'A' sample came back negative. Despite that negative finding, the agency directed the UCLA testing lab to test the 'B' sample, "thereby violating the applicable rules and regulations governing anti-doping control and testing."
Do you think these make my ass look fat?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
found on Bicycle retailier. The article looks at the race from a historical sense, quoting a number of local bike legends and their rememberences of the race.
“We were all racing for second,” said Dave McCall, mechanic for Landis Cyclery in Scottsdale, Arizona, mentioning the names of legendary racers Tomac and Juarez. “Tinker would hammer us.”
John Tomac, Ned Overend, Tinker Juarez, Missy Giove—they all competed there.
“To see all those heavy hitters, and say, ‘Wow, they’re here racing our race,’” said Jon Milliken, who works in sales for Bicycle Haus in Scottsdale. Milliken interned for Specialized in 1993, helping put on the Cactus Cup, and has attended every Cactus Cup in Arizona."
Clifford is a hitter. lets leave it at that.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
"This, Mr Pengy, is blasphemy and if you had any part in the construction of this bike I strongly recommend you wash yourself thrice in the river Jordan or what ever the religious equivalent would be for your demographic area You have spoiled my goodwill and the trust of other posters on the "Hot bikes" thread. I hope you can sleep at night, i for one cannot close my eyes without seeing visions of this monstrosity burned into the darkest recesses of my mind ."
This bike fails on so many levels I can only scratch the surface using the limited space we have here. If you are interested in a complete description of this bikes impact on the modern movement of cycling please pick up my book due out this fall; "The rise and fall of the Fifth Reich, or how the bike; Pengy and others like it nearly destroyed Western civilization.
Lets begin shall we?
Firstly: Yes i have said before that orange is the new black, but nothing says Halloween like orange AND black. Pick one and use it sparingly.
Secondly: Frameset=frame and fork. These should match, hence the use of the term "set"
if you forget what should and shouldnt match, you can always refer back to this helpful alliteration.
(sung to the tempo of Camptown races)
Remember when you pick your frame, doo-dah! doo-dah!
the fork should always look the same. Oh, doo-dah day!
The saddle matches both as well. doo dah! doo dah!
an accent color? that looks swell. Oh, doo-dah day!
(chorus)this bike looks good all night,
this bike looks good all day
too many colors and Ourys grips...
and suddenly its all gay.
(not that theres anything wrong with that)
Stem and seat post, matching set, doo-dah! doo-dah!
What the hell is it you dont get? Oh, doo-dah day!
Silver is a color too , doo-dah! doo-dah!
pink is for chicks, think it through, Oh, doo-dah day!
Matching colors is a necessary evil, but throwing shit on the bike simply because it matches is walking a thin line between style and the ridiculous. (see below)
All the mis-matched components aside, this bike clearly does not fit its owner. I don't even have to see Pengy to know once he has this monstrosity snugly tucked under his prostrate, he looks more out of place then a bad toupee. Using kinesiology, or the study of how human body measurements fit into physics and movement, I was able to reverse engineer what exactly a body type would look like that requires such a large bike (long torso) , short seat tube length (short or non-existent legs) , and has the bars raised like a piece of playground equipment (hyper length arms) . Now keep in mind its not science, but I think its quite telling in its accuracy once all the data is input.
Uncanny isnt it? The bike looks like it was made for this rider and vice versa. I hope you find yourself pedaling this bike through the rocky roads of purgatory my small mishapen friend. Its where the two of you belong.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I recently came across a group from LA calling themselves the Midnight Ridazz bicycle club that made me pause for a moment to consider and compare our own chapters direction. First this excerpt from the "About the Ridazz" link:
What Midnight Ridazz is:
Open - Minded
What Midnight Ridazz is NOT:
I began my own list for the Street Kings:
What the Street Kings are:
-fast as shit
-Semi abrasive (like 400 grit though)
What the Street Kings are not:
-Political (there is no room for that shit on an SK ride. Pull the curtain, vote and then shut up about it)
-Commercialized (this is not for lack of trying. The sales on the SK hand towels tanked and no one is buying the logo covered dinner plates due to some silly lead paint concerns)
-I could not with a clear conscious include mean spirited in this list but we are trying.
-Protest (Anyone that says otherwise will find a crew of bike riding hooligans on their front lawn with sharp objects and bad intentions)
Street Kings for life!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Stop#1 Far end of Campus.
Stop #2: Uri's House.
Stop #3 The park. ???
Luckily i was able to hang with some locals and grab a wheel. A good time was had by all. I will be back for the next race armed with some knowledge of the streets and a better appreciation of European/Tucsonian culture.
Friday, August 8, 2008
I often wake from dreams that involve my participating in sporting events of any kind thinking that perhaps I am watching myself from my fathers point of view. If i could add up all the hours my father spent on sidelines or bleachers watching me compete or practice in any one of a myriad of sports, it would probably equal 5 or six years of his life. Quite a commitment. Louden Swain didnt have the benefit of a network of support like that. When his father figure does arrive for his wrestling match one of the most beautiful and poignant moments of the film transpires. A moment where you see a hard man admit that he finds beauty in the transcendence of the human condition through sport and mans struggle to ultimately define himself through that sport.
Excerpt from the movie Vision quest:
Louden Swain: You never took a night off to see me wrestle before. They'll dock you for that.
Elmo: Hey, kid - money ain't everything.
Louden Swain: It's not that big a deal, Elmo. I mean, it's six lousy minutes on the mat, if that.
Elmo: You ever hear of Pele?
Louden Swain: Yeah, he's a, a soccer player.
Elmo: A very famous soccer player.
Elmo: I was in the room here one day... watchin' the Mexican channel on TV. I don't know nothin' about Pele. I'm watchin' what this guy can do with a ball and his feet. Next thing I know, he jumps in the air and flips into a somersault and kicks the ball in - upside down and backwards... the goddamn goalie never knew what the fuck hit him. Pele gets excited and he rips off his jersey and starts running around the stadium waving it around his head. Everybody's screaming in Spanish. I'm here, sitting alone in my room, and I start crying.
Elmo: That's right, I start crying. Because another human being, a species that I happen to belong to, could kick a ball, and lift himself, and the rest of us sad-assed human beings, up to a better place to be, if only for a minute... let me tell ya, kid - it was pretty goddamned glorious. It ain't the six minutes... it's what happens in that six minutes.
Perhaps that "one man I need to beat" is actually me.
I will see you on the road in the old pueblo tonight.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I came across this recently published book titled: Lance in France. The online excerpt reads:
The biggest bicycle race in the world is about to begin—the Tour de France. Lance Armstrong is the fastest, most famous bike rider in the world, so what could go wrong?
From rainstorms to crashes to cows in the road, Lance goes the distance to show that winners never quit. And—while Lance pedals—you'll enjoy discovering funny details and recurring characters in art that gives a spectacular view of the race.
Some excerpts from the book:
"...Tyler crashed his bicycle into the ditch with a bang! Thats what you get for cheating, Lance says as he pedals by."
"Lance speeds past the broken down (Cofidis) team bus. Its radiator hissing steam. Uh oh! he exclaims. Looks like they wont be finishing the race today. Maybe next time they will be better sports."
"...now he (Lance) has to pee into a cup of all places! Dont try this at home kids."
"Now he (Lance) is the most famous bicycle racer of all time! Now I can date movie stars and pop singers if I want."
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
This photo carried the caption: Dr. Thompson's attorney, Peter Swarth, and his shy publicist
Can you imagine how bad your public image must be if the person you are hiring to stand in front of the camera on your behalf is hiding his face like he doesn't want to be associated with you? By my estimates the attorney is approximately 5'3" which is big for vermin even in the citrus state.
The attorney spoke to the press after the pleading and asked the communty to "Lower the heat" on the doctor as he has received numerous threats on his life and limb via email and phone. This is the second road rage incident the doctor is accused of against a cyclist.
Dr. Thompson appeared in court w/his attorney and a publicist, both of whom helped him navigate the press by dodging out the side door and into a chauffeur driven SUV.
As of this report the doctor was able to make it home without another road rage incident.