I cant help it.

I know, I know, every time i point out a bike from FGG, somebody jumps in to save the day like i was clubbing seals. "Making fun" is never really about having any fun. I look at it more like my duty to ensure cycling heritage isnt lost during my lifetime, or becomes so unidentifiable that our children think we all rode bike fridays' or recumbants. 2009 is a new me and i have learned that you cant spend your life defending comments about rubber grip placement. Having said that; here is some constructive criticism, if it applies to you....well then we all learned something didnt we?
Subject #1
Lets just touch on some "big picture" points for a moment shall we? First: this bike looks like it was stolen. The current owner i can only assume is somewhere around five foot 8 to five foot nine, 28 inch inseam and currently has a raw bald spot under his balls from riding a bike that was clearly made for someone Yao Ming sized. Brother you are showing no seat post and your head tube looks like a down tube. I realize the yardsale this was purchased at probably has a no return policy, but there are other fish in the sea and if you keep riding this monster your little 'swimmers' wont be. if you get my drift. Downsize. P.S. nude tires went out of style about the same time hula-hoops did.
Grade: B

Subject #2
I am the first to admit i like to modify my frames to make them look unique. I cant fault a guy for doing that. However I believe it would be in the best interest and safety of the general public if this bike were taken off the streets. This bike states very efficiently and directly what companies like Specialized and Trek pay millions of dollars of advertising to convince others of; Not everyone can build frames. I normally would have given high marks for the rear wheel lace up but when combined with the kinked seat tube and GT'ish seat stays, i belive we are looking at a kidney and liver laceration looking for a place to happen. BMX or Fixed road. Pick one and then commit.
Grade; D-

Subject #3
Again, just some pointers to get you going in the right direction.
1. Second brake lever not necessary
2. Shorten the remaining brake cable (both before and after the brake) to avoid possible strangulation when attempting to mount said bike by a hook in your barn.
3. No one needs to carry enough shit to warrant that size blow out bag unless you are expecting a different kind of blow out and suffer from incontinence. If you are carrying adult diapers, i offer you a thousand apologies in advance.
Grade B+