Monday, March 31, 2008

Fixed gear phenomenon

Lets face it, cycling is everywhere and much like the 80's were infested with mountain bikers, the last few years have seen a rise in the number of people on fixed gear bikes. There is an old wives tale about cyclists leaving their fixed gear bikes unlocked outside a restaurant hoping someone would steal the bike and attempt to ride it. The first attempt at stopping would see the rider jacked from the saddle like the passenger seat in K.I.T.T. Now if you leave a fixie outside while you have lunch, you will be walking home with a bad taste in your mouth and not just from the reuben sandwich, while some dude is enjoying your anodized cranks. Even if you did lock it up you might come back to something like this:
They not only took his head tube and bearings, they took the grease that packed them in!

Check out these kids:

Trackstanding like a champ, cut bars, toe-clips, the whole enchilada. If this picture was taken in my neighborhood these kids would look like dirty trannies and be straddling Magnas that creak like a wooden floor of an old bard. I have to assume this is somewhere in California where everyone is cooler for some reason.

WIth the recent surge we have seen some conversions that left alot to be desired.

You want to ride behind this guy when this wheel decides to bounce out of the shitty half effort the rider made to covert the drop outs to horizontal ones effectively eliminating the drop out all together. I hope the blue duct tape is for looks and not holding the chain stay together after his last incident.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Alleycat forthcoming

The race on April 19 is coming together. The fastest bastard is going to score a track frame!

The race name "fixie Hero" gives you some hint as to the makeup of the race. Each participant gets a map with nine different points marked and labled as different superheros. The order will be announced the night of the race. Ben from the Hot City Destroyers has been a good sounding board for the race make-up i am hoping he and his crew show up to race.

Tony Stark could fully be a Street King.
A classic piece from Ironman #85. CHOOM! indeed.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sony style...??

I dont know if this guy is getting a piece of Sony but his lifestyle seems to suggest he has a piece of something that big.

I first came across a couple of bikes he had posted on

here is the picture he posted of his fixed gear bikes in his garage.

Needless to say the normal posters at LA were not as impressed with him as he seems to be of himself. Here is the followup to his post:

Fuck those bikes and fuck that car.Seeing shit like that makes me want to strap dynamite to my frame and intercept that plastic piece of shit at the Velodrome. The car looks like it needs a gentle nuzzle with a sledgehammer wielding tweaker.I could give a flying anal cum spurt if those bikes are the height of technology. All they look like to me is if some asshole decided to make a bike model out of his excrement. Good fucking Crust, those frames are designed specifuckingly for the track, putting risers on shit like that is the epitome of idiocracy.What's next? We're going to see a picture of some peroxide cocaine whore modeling in front of the frames before Rocco Siffredi shows up to sucker punch her ass? Fucking show and tell time for upper fixster crust.Jesus Fuck.

A better response could not have been crafted.

A later poster provided the link back to this guys site,

Where, if you find you have the time and stomach for overindulgence, can peruse the life of a multi-million dollar japanese kid with too much time on his hands.

A garage full of not only "bike models made out of excrement" but F1 cars, Super cars, and single production modern prototypes.

Jet flights to snowboard in Switzerland

Race car development parties in Spain

Custom made snow board clothing from Tokyo.

Diamond encrusted cellphones, and tissue boxes

I dont speak martian so i cant make out all of the wording on the site but it appears to be nothing more than someone following around this rich kid as he spends his familys fortune. Paris Hilton style.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Softride? I beg to differ.

This is just too much.

I come across this picture on a bike forum based out of San Francisco.

You hear a lot of the time in situations like this that: "The picture doesn't do the bike justice." However in this case, I think justice has been served. And in this case its served on a bouncing top-tube and a saddle angle only a masochist could love.

The post was followed by this response:

soffrides are sick for old dudes with bad backs. before i had my fixed i was
riding up pch and some super old guy with cinder block thighs was trackstanding
on a geared soffride. i tried to draft off him but he was holding a steady 25+
mph in a headwind, i couldn't do it.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Street Kings Alleycat

Fixie Hero. Its going to happen. 9 stops in and around the heart of the Street King empire. Saturday night 4-19-2008. Its on Its on like...well you know what its on like. Details are still being hammered out on the exact location of the stops, awards, categories etc...

Here are some of the prizes that have been kicked around:

First finisher: Bike frame

Second finisher: Saddle

Third finisher: Shirt

Top Crew award:

Best three finishers for any crew represented: prize TBD

Worst stopper: Set of tires

Best Trick: Messenger bag

Monday, March 24, 2008

StreetKings take to the streets

A full compliment of Streetkings including some prospects took to the streets.

Throwing down some skids...


Throwing up some signs...

...and throwing back some beers.

My previous post was misinformed; Jay Z did not attend nor was he ever planning on attending the ride. Turns out it was the boys from JCC , which was cool too.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Street Kings On a Tear.

Yes weekend posts on the street king site are about as rare a creature as the proverbial 650/700c funny bike. However i thought the video had enough legs to carry.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Hubba Bubba

Lets explore the power of positive marketing shall we?

You have a set of hubs you would like to sell. Maybe you just got your tax return or you just pawned your roomates stereo while he was away at spring break, either way you have a little loot to upgrade the old fixed gear and you decided to start at the hubs and have your eye on a pair of high flange chrome 32 hole hubs at the local bike shop like these beauties:

Lets say you choose to list the hubs you currently have on a reputable online site with a modest but fair asking price. you signed up for a different email address so you dont have to be embarassed by listing Now we just have to come up with a good description.

You could say something like: Easily removed American bolts, chrome-like, $50 obo.

Or: Good:Unique oversized threaded shafts provide universal spacing with quick release bolts. No more allen wrenches needed!

Better: Get on the chrome wagon with these flip flop track ready hubs, lace these cats up and get ready to rock out with your cog out. Give me a shout out at

Best: Hubs for sale, see picture for description, email for negotiable price

Thursday, March 20, 2008


(I cant figure out if this chick is good looking or not)
Roll call status as of 09:35 3/20/08:
Das boot: IN
Bucket: IN also IN for bike cleaning
Clifford: IN
Jackson: IN
St Paul: IN
Big Tuna: 50% probability (possible scratch)
SK: So IN it hurts.
JCC CREW: Possibility of appearance rated at 85% and falling
HCD: Possibilitiy of appearance 65% and rising

Go on...getcha some.

This is a story i happened upon whilst perusing the ether. A series of photographs captures the better part of a confrontation between an enraged motorist and a courier in San Francisco. The fracas according to the photographer started when the motorist threw a cup of coffee out his window. The courier threw it back inside his car. He exits the car and takes his frustration out on the bike of all things.

There are a dozen or so good shots of this guy (he looks russian to me for some reason) in a fit of rage, wrestling with the female courier and attempting to stomp her bike. The road rage incident ends with a group of men giving him the business hockey style with the jersey over the head treatment. See below The complete story and pictures.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Everybody wants in on the action.

Yes there is a movie out with the title Street Kings. No it has nothing to do with the hip, stylish fixed gear crew out of Arizona. It involves the piss poor acting of Keanu Reeves.

I was hoping he would reprise his role as Jonny Utah, FBI agent from the classic Point Break
Only this time Bodhi figures out he is an "FBI AGENT" and douses him with gasoline and lights him on fire. I think it would make for a better ending.

No such luck . I watched the trailer. No rubber presidents masks, no red hot chili peppers, No Kung Fu, no evil computer created robots, no Lawrence Fishbourne. No f*ing bikes. I am not pleased.

This is the bike Keanu would be riding if he was in a movie with bicycles, a non-driveside picture with monochrome flame red paint and a seat angle ony a masochist could love.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Race tonight, ride on thursday.

Crit tonight
Crush on Thursday

Lost and Found.

Lost and found:

Found: on, bike porn, page 174 (I would provide a link but it requires a subscription to the site)

Bucket and Suicideking spotted at the portland handmade bike show. You cant buy this kind of press coverage.
Lost? (front of picture) I have seen the same colnago handpainted frame right here in Scottsdale, but with skunkwork black electicians tape across the logos, seat stays, and head tube....Hmmmm?

Found: This was also found on LA fixed although the original post was on This is a picture of the Big Tunas Rensho in his front room.
Found: This dope picture of kermit throwing down a sick skid. Check out all those spoke cards. this Frog must be drilling his local Alleycat scene.

Lost...This damn fool lost his mind if thinks he can take on the StreetKings

Monday, March 17, 2008

All things Street Kings.

Believe it or not there is more to the Street kings then drinking beer, throwing down skids, and disrupting government proceedings. To each member of the gang, there are sides you don't see...every Street King has layers.

For instance; With a killer paint job, fixed drive train, and substitute European beer for the Popsicles. St. Paul would fully rock this ride on gang nite.

Craigslist dredge. GO devils!

Big Tuna is an animal lover. There is no doubt in my mind he would bolt a pair of these on his bike if he thought it was aiding a defenseless deer somewhere from being killed.


The fact that SK (myself) not only enjoys fixie mayhem, but also has a penchant for all things comic book, has been well publicized. When i happened across these pant strap bands that reminded me of Thors' helmet. I pulled the trigger in a Asgard second.
This is the reason XXI doesnt take a bike to Interbike. All you would see is two wheels and women everywhere.
They say the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem...

Bucket has a shoe fetish. The StreetKings doint do interventions.

Friday, March 14, 2008


SK bike update: Fixie Inc My initial bike of choice, does not import bikes to the US. (It appears the German company may still have some hard feelings over the way the big one ended. I have contacts out for SOMA in SF and I am still clutching a well traveled IF brochure from the Portland show.

April is shaping up to be quite a busy month. Tour de Phoenix, Cruiser ride, Buckets b-day, and a looming date for the Street Kings alley cat race are all expected events. But there is still plenty of riding days in March. The weather is perfect. The trails (if you mountain bike) are buff and green, and the spring air even has the bumper to bumper drivers commuting with a smile on their face.

Street King meeting minutes dated 3/6/08:

A motion was presented by XXI to schedule rides every two weeks versus once monthly. The motion was seconded by SK and was not put to popular vote due to the fact a lot of the other members present had to “check their schedules”.

Three (3) demerits were assigned to Bucket due to his flagrant disinterest in the possibility of damage to XXI’s bike “double down”. This brings his total to 5. He is the sole Street king with any demerits.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Critical Mass...NIMBY

The previously mentioned city hall meeting that the Streetkings attended, really hit home with me the lack of cohesiveness within the cycling community in the greater Phoenix area. If the Kings hadn't rolled up on bikes, there simply wouldn't have been a single bike there. Sure there were competent and well spoken representatives of the cycling community there to speak, but the only "cyclists" on bikes were my crew. That's when it hit me...Critical mass the equivalent to a rolling sit in protest of sorts that takes place in most major cities on the last Friday of every month. What a glorious site it would be to see two or three hundred, or thousand bikes rolling across Mill avenue bridge and taking over Tempe streets. I am so F*ing in.

It would appear some of the protests have turned into "anti-car" rallies' with cyclists clashing with impatient drivers. That isn't my program, but the idea of bike riders banding together for a common cause is. The ride is credited with improving cyclists rights and right of ways in SF and other major cities. If you have ever road ridden in Phoenix, you know how poorly the few bike lanes you encounter can be.

The movement in Phoenix is small to say the least. No dedicated ride website, no rides, no shit.
Che is dead in Phoenix, the only cause people in this state are interested in is illegal immigration and how to get out of their personal mortgage crisis. When Phoenix does make a stand, and it will, the Street Kings will be there, bananas blazing.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Street Kings ride 3/20/08

...and that aint no bull.

P.S. Bucket will be clearing his record of demerits (3) and will be washing bikes prior to the ride.

End of an era?

Recall fondly with me if you will, the year is 1981, break dancing is alive and well, parachute pants are all the rage, and the band, Cheap Trick is on the rise. You are clad in a red leatherish jacket adorned with silver sequins. Or maybe not. However perchance like me, you were enthralled by either the menacing look of the movie posters, or the first movie “Mad Max” to see one of that summers blockbuster movies, the creatively and aptly named Mad Max 2 the road warrior. A piece of cinema that defined the movie era i can assure you. There is a point in the movie where one of the Mohawk marauders of the wasteland is killed by an errant razor boomerang meant for one of the movies main players. Its at this point we realize he wasn’t just another cast member, he was a “special friend” to one of the lieutenants of said gang; Wez. Wez is the leather-clad biker that, when realizing his compatriot has been slain, goes berserk in an attempt to return the favor of a horrific death to a young brooding Mel Gibson. The next few moments of the film are the reason I asked you to travel with me on this little trip down memory lane. The charismatic General of the outlaws “Lord Humungus” pulls Wez aside and offers him a few words of consolation that have since burned themselves indelibly on my soul. Its one of those lines I simply cannot forget:

“Be still my dog of war, I understand your pain. We all lose someone we love. But we do it my way! We do it my way. Fear is our ally. The gasoline will be ours. Then you shall have your revenge.”

“We all lose someone we love.” Twenty seven years later, I reminded of this quote when looking over my vanilla-shake beauty “lucky” as she rests in my garage.I believe she and I have possibly come to the end. Not that I would take her out back and shoot her, or subject her to the embarrassment and torture of an online auction house or worse yet sentence her to a lifetime of languishing on the never updated webpages of craigslist. But I feel the time has come to replace her with another model. As my eyes light on her slender and impossibly tall seat tube, and the lack of anything remotely considered track geometry, I can still get a bit choked up. Sure she doesn’t have any toe overlap and the fork has a bend that resembles an over ripened banana. But she does have class. And that has to count for something. Needless to say I am in the market for something with a little more aggressive geometry, a true track drive train, single chain ring spacing on the crank, a manageable distance to the rear stays, track dropouts, clean tubing, and a low slung BB. In short, everything lucky is not. Keep your eyes peeled. SK is ready to fire.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

To race or not to race...

Is that really the question?
Yes a lot of people that do ride bikes, do race. But that doesn't mean its for everyone. SK has pinned a number on in almost any type of bicycling event imaginable. I have never won a race, but i still enjoy racing. Some of the reasons people don't race:

They don't want to get hurt:This i understand. I don't want to get hurt any more then the next guy.

Maybe they have to work.

Sometimes even the king has to put in hours on the weekends.

They think the racing kits look "gay"

Show me a sport that doesn't have tight fitting approved clothing and don't you dare mention golf. And P.S. i lived through the parachute pants and acid washed denim days, every era has its own skeletons in its closet.

They think their bike isn't "good" enough.

Obviously they haven't read 7 time tour de france winner Lance Armstrongs book: Its not about the bike. Where he explains it indeed isn't about the bike, turns out it might be about being pumped full of anti-cancer drugs. (The debate rages on)

If you decide not to race, i understand. There are times i have used every single one of these excuses, sometimes not fully being honest with myself. But the one thing that keeps me rolling back to the line is...well the idea that these cute little SRAM red riding hood chicks dig racers for one.

My what big breasts you have.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Bring on the Bling Street King

If you are trying to make your ride sparkle. Here are some pieces you might want to fire on. And some things to consider.

The very term "bling" brings into question, who made up the term? Who is biting whos rhyme? Who fired first, who is the trendsetter and who is the sheep? Difficult questions i can assure you. Style seems to follow function that, for the most part, appears to be born in the urban environment. The streets. Like the birthplace of this frankenstein of brass plated chromolly and rattle can blue.

On his own personal blog, Prodigy, the soon to be jailed Queens rapper from Mobb Deep, is claiming responsibility for some of the biggest trends in music, fashion and entertainment. Basically, if you have tattoos, wear Timberland boots, use slang, drink Hennessy, use Pro Tools, or blog, Prodigy wants you to know you’re biting his style. I don't give a crap about the other crap, but blogging? Now he has now implicated the Streetkings i feel obliged to address it.

Some 0f the highlights of his list of numerous trends set in the planet, and not just rapping;




Recently Monster track, a large scale alleycat race was cancelled due to what the organizers called "safety concerns". They cited that a number of people were expected to race that were not messengers and not versed on track bike etiquette and technique. They had concerns for their ability to complete the unsanctioned race in a safe manner.

Lets unsanctioned open race course that sponsors a race fashioned around a culture that eschews safety including helmets in the first place. this is starting to sound like a USA cycling event instead. Who is biting whos rhyme?