Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Im just lucky i guess. Not as lucky as this dude. I mean, his last name is Sup(e)rman and then his parents hit him with the a double dose of DC hero monikers with the darknight for a first name. Score! I looked up his court records and found he is a career criminal, if you want to include shoplifting, stealing from your feeble grandparents, and breaking into parked cars, a career. The other two clowns got arrested and we got the bikes returned safe and sound.
I feel like this post is rambling a bit, but the race for the cure is this weekend. I know it sounds like a legit race, however its really an alleycat race in downtown Phoenix. The STreet Kings will have a few horses in the race. SK signed on, James T and St. Paul both threw their hats in the ring. I think James T was going to make some gearing changes after the lung burner last week. Move that 46 up a tick perhaps. He was considering moving all the way to a 49 or 50. I just dont see it. Hes got legs, but lets face it, hes no Batman bin Suparman.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
P.S. The type of gal that would snuggle up with a big box mountain bike (derailleur side down no less) isn't the kind of girl you take home to mother.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I would say it makes you feel at peace, but lets not get all pinko-commie-hippie about it. This is still a street gang. And speaking of street gangs, the upcoming alley cat KILL MILL is supposed to be well attended. The Kings hope to have four riders at the line and if all four show, i think we could cover up the podium. Its an interesting race concept speaking of being one with the bike; A single sprint from one end of Tempe to the other. No turns, no stops, just a 5 mile drag race in the middle of the night. As always the "balls" factor will undoubtedly determine the winner with so many stop lights and even in the middle of the night the street will still have traffic.
Thanks to all the notes of support for the guys that lost bikes. I hope something turns up and they get the bikes back. If not, BIKE HAUS has offered to sell the guys new bikes at wholesale to replace the missing ones. A solid move, they have always been stand up guys there.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I am so angry right now I can barely contain myself. These videos were shot THIS MORNING at the dealership. Three scum bags stroll right in, lower the bike rack inside our shop, and roll out with three bikes. Six minutes before i get there. It made me sick as the tape runs and i see my self stroll past the empty bike rack six minutes later. I contacted the police of course but there isnt anything they can do unless the bikes turn up. One of the bikes is unique enough it could be spotted. A godzilla green single speed niner with mango CK hubs and a through axle Maverick fork. The other two bikes are right out of the box, an XL Stumpjumper (blue) and a black Raleigh both full suspension bikes.
I drove around the block after viewing the tapes and talking to the security here on site. i don't know what i was expecting to find, but i felt like i had to do something. Maybe someone will recognize one of these fuckers or one of these bikes and do the right thing. If you do know something and want to leave an anonymous tip; email; Suicideking15@yahoo.com
Monday, May 19, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
What you may ask yourself has me in a heightened state of anger and distress to the point of physical manifestation? Well i will tell you.. bikecommuters.com . A small distasteful sight that prides itself on reporting on the single statement; "Bike your ride". The author makes no statement as to his whereabouts but judging from his his latest post "faux-fixies" and an apparent lack of cycling knowledge, i would guess he is chiseling out his next article by torchlight in a damp cave somewhere outside of Akron. I don't profess to be or know all things bicycle, but i also don't have a website professing to do just that either. And trust me there is a difference. just like there is a difference between shaving your legs, and shaving your legs in a soapy tub surrounded by floating candles and listening to Yanni live at the red rocks on CD. The crux of the problem of this "article" is the author doesn't seem to be able to grasp the idea that what makes a fixed gear bicycle a fixed gear, is the gear being affixed, or fixed as it were, to the chain line, and not the presence or lack of brakes. Conversions or otherwise.
"What is a fake fixie? They are late model bikes that have been converted to single speeds but try to look like fixed gear bikes"
Then proceeds to post a few pictures he refers to as: "fake fixie 1&2"
A couple of the sheep that follow the site and actually took time to fill out a membership of some kind (probably family members and current boyfriends) try to point out this fact but are lost in the hubris of this site and end up only adding to the confusion. Take for example Quin who posts:
Around Reno the word “fixie” refers to any bike that has 1 chain ring and 1 cog. whether its a geared-to-SS conversion or a SS w/ flip-flop, i would say more “poser” than “faux”, because, 90% of the flip-flops are run on the freewheel.
I guess they don't know what a fixed gear is in Reno either.
Ghost rider does his best attempt to bring things to right weighing in with his opinion:
Ghost Rider //
If folks in Reno are using the term “fixie” to refer to a singlespeed, freewheel-based drivetrain, they are DEFINITELY posers. Ugh.
When will people out there learn that there’s nothing wrong with a singlespeed conversion?
"posers" indeed, Ghost rider and you are right; There is nothing wrong with a singlespeed conversion.
A last word from "Roman Holiday":
"A bike’s a bike. Just enjoy the ride & don’t label stuff."
besides an gregarious use of the word stuff, i couldn't agree more.
p.s. Even by 1953 standards, Roman Holiday was a shitty movie and is also a terrible handle for a bike website.
Monday, May 12, 2008
It was supposed to be a short walk for charity. Raise a couple of bucks, get a free T-shirt, show up and enjoy the weather and walk for a couple of miles (three to be exact). That is how I ended up at 7:30 on a Sunday morning amidst a sea of women wearing pink and talking about healthy breasts. It was supposed to be a nice little event, but this event turned ugly. You would think with it being for charity and all, there would be some tact and decorum. Not the case. I think they should do a better job of screening the applicants and see if they cant weed out some of the "clowns". And when i say; clowns, i mean that in the most literal sense of the word. 7:30 hits, they call the participants to the line, and who do you think shows up at the tape just before the gun goes off? Sqqeezing his way through the crowd like half and half soft serve, I spot this clown:
Thats right; Ronald friggen McDonald, the burger baron himself. Front and friggen center. Mcdonalds corp could have sent a B level character like the hamburgler or grimmace, god knows he could stand to lose a few pounds. But the sent the man. I know they mean business. There he is resplindent in his red and white stripes and yellow gloves. I have to admit i hope to be carrying that much hair when i am 75, but i try to not think abou that. Ive a got a charity walk ahead of me and i will need my wits about me. I had planned on just walking the thing, but there aint no way im letting some clown smoke me charity walk or not. The gun sounds, the crowd surges ahead and Ronald starts out like a shot.
"Ive got this bastard." i tell myself. His nutritional regimine is burgers and faux apple pies for cheese sake. How can this guy possibly think he can beat me? I stay in pace through the first mile. The pace is hard but i can spot him through the bobbing heads of the crowd and his body guards.Mile 1.75 I make my move. His yellow polyester pants are singing from the friction of his inner thighs as I take the lead. He is distracted by my daughters Mrs Arizona sash momentarily and i strike like a cobra. The course is a tight four corner number with a single ascent and quick descent. I attack the hill and dont look back. The thought of sweat and crocodile tears running down his face and smearing his pancake makeup propel me ahead. The clown cant hold my wheel. I settle into a comfortable pace and start marking time to the finish. I think i have the thing in the bag and then hear the familar slapping of size 22 shoes behind me. I cant look back. I accelerate pushing through the crowd leaving old ladies and strollers in my wake. Then in the close distance i see the finish line. Victory was mine. I hit the tape and turn expecting to see a flash of yellow and red, instead nothing. Turns out the slapping sound wasnt oversized shoes at all, just some obese girl from Tempe abusing a pair of flip flops under her hoove like feet. At the end of the day, i stabbed over six minutes into that burger flipping fool. Now he knows you dont mess with a Street King, charity or otherwise.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I will not be posting tomorrow or Monday as i am not only out of town, but out of the country. I take my freakshow on the road tomorrow to Mexico for a few days of R&R. (well deserved i might add). If you tune into AZfixed, you might hase come across a Post from St Paul regarding a portable velodrome. I read everything on the site and it makes for quite an interesting read i might add. How cool would it be to see this thing in downtown Phoenix? I dont think we could gather quite the numbers for participants or spectators as the site shows, but it would still be bad ass. They report the track takes six days to assemble and then schedules three days for racing. That is quite an ordeal. Anyone know someone with an empty warehouse that could house this thing?
Im so in!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
“Just get me back on and we will sit in for a few laps so you can rest.”
They bridge nicely and then instead of keeping my word, I attack. Not because I think I can win, just because I am an insensitive bastard. In response after turn four of the bell lap, they refuse to sprint for me and as a team, broken and divisive; we end up a dismal 7th out of 12 in the D race. Its times like this that I usually say something I will undoubtedly regret at some point later, just out of spite.
“You have disappointed me in ways I only thought possible by alcoholic step parents and abusive Tee ball coaches.” I scream at my cowering quadriceps.
As I am sure you can imagine, my legs are as emotionally incapable as they are physically. A biting comment like that will usually bring about tears and we begin another long night of personal attacks and insults. I usually follow up a comment like that with the silent treatment through dinner, letting them suffer through their recovery alone, and ashamed. My being a S.W.A.T. level negotiator gives me the upper hand. I know whoever breaks the cycle and talks next; loses. I go about my business of cleaning up the bike and assuring her in a loud enough tone to ensure the legs can hear; “You raced well tonight. It’s not your fault we lost. Get some rest. That a girl.” Later that night they will breakdown and come to me to apologize; swollen eyes red from crying and a trickle of snot running down their little upper lips. “We could have push/pulled but didn’t. We will try harder. Don’t give up on us…you are all we’ve got man. I know we dropped you…but don’t drop us…please.”
I have them right where I want them.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
(not the actual bike mentioned in the above article) but I think you get the idea.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
A point to point race in downtown Phoenix of sorts, however each rider has to collect a few items from fast food restaurants, like French fries or something like that. I call it…get this: Fast Food fools, or just Fast Fools with a cool logo. Imagine twenty five bags of fries at the finish line and a couple cases of beer to go with it for the after party. I will have to look into places that would work. Downtown Tempe would be tough but the start and finish lines would have to be dialed in.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
This is not an acceptable saddle unless you are six.